Girls V. Boys

We recently experienced an outbreak of girl v. boy rivalry in our 3-5's class. There's always a little testing out of exclusionary play of the "no boys" or "no girls" variety, but this was on another level involving a group of boys collecting at the top of the concrete slide chanting, "Boy Scouts! Boy Scouts!" while a group of girls gathered in our playhouse answering back, "Girl Scouts! Girl Scouts!" The game included the girls making occasional forays up into the boy's area while being verbally pummeled by the chant, followed by the boys braving the playhouse to the same effect.

The game featured intense expressions and taut body language, so I kept an eye on things, checking in with the kids. I said things like, "You look angry. It makes me think you don't like this game," but was more or less shooed away while being assured the game was "fun," so I stepped back, staying close in case things turned physical or verbally abusive. These are kids who have known one another for a long time, played well together, even visited one another's homes. As I watched this game that was so unsavory to me play out, however, I was impressed by how responsible they were. I mean, they weren't hurling insults, just chanting statements of gender solidarity. There was all kinds of aggressive posturing from both sides, but no pushing, hitting, or even impeding going on. I would have appreciated a smile every now and then, some evidence they were actually having the fun they insisted they were having, but none of them broke character, just as none of them seemed inclined to leave the game.

I'm pretty sure there were times in my past as a teacher when I would have barged in to scuttle the game, letting my adult judgement of things rule the day, probably pushing it underground, sending the message that certain thoughts and themes are "bad." I'm glad I've learned to be slow to react, to dig in first and try to see events though the eyes of the kids, which, after all is the perspective that matters most. It's their play. It's their experience. It's their education. After a couple of days, they moved on to other things, apparently having learned what they needed to learn, the girls and boys remixing as usual. 

Adult knowledge and understanding is a great thing, but it's not the only way to view the world, let alone the correct way.

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